I Am Whoever You Say I Am?

Why is is that people always do the things that are the worst for them? I have girl friends who just cannot understand the idea that you're able to live your life without constantly having a boyfriend to tell you what to do. Then there are others who just cannot see that the guys she is 'in love' with is harming her emotionally and psychologically though not physically. I mean, when a guy tells you to back off and leave him alone, when he blocks and deletes you from all forms of communication, and when his friends are threatening bodily harm, he's REALLY not worth it. Truth is, no guy is worth being brutally emotionally abused by, especially when it starts to affect your entire life.

For example, I have a really good friend who was friends with this guy who was in the American military. This guy had seen and done things that he couldn't even talk about to other people about; he was seriously fucked up. He had also been engaged at one point in time to a fellow, female, marine. Everything was fine until he admits to my friend, after them being friends for quite a while, that he has a thing for her that's more than friendly and more than the sister-brother thing that they had going on. So, that's fine, whatever. They fool around once or twice, and then then shit really hits the fan. And this is where things start to get hairy.

His ex and his best friend show up and the ex punches him in the face hard enough to make his neck twist around. I think that they also broke down a door, but I could be mixing that up with something that they did to someone else just to prove that they could get into her apartment and she could do shit all to stop them. Anyways, neither his ex or his friend are happy about my friend. Here enters some bullshit about never fully understanding the military until you've served and killed an innocent person, or some such shit. Long story short, he makes my friend cry, his ex and best friend both threaten her, and then she's stupid enough to not back down.

Here's the part that I really do not understand. Obviously this guy has more than enough baggage to deal with himself, she really shouldn't have to deal with it as well. But apparently she wants to. Let me make it perfectly clear that many of us have told her that she's being fucking stupid about the whole thing that that there are better, more sane and stable, guys out there for her: ones with better friends.

Ok, so, the other night my friend gets completely drunk (not to mention stupidly so. the girl couldn't even undo a chain lock on a door to get out) and texts this guy. He then proceeds to rip her drunken heart to shreds, again, and it probably leads to her drinking more. I can't be sure about that part since I wasn't there when she was drinking, but I can speculate. Then, once she gets home after blowing her fuse at myself and others who are just worried about her sanity (among other things, like her well-being) she starts to communicate with him over MSN, which ends badly. The next morning, though the time stamp read something like 3 minutes after she finished her 'conversation' with this completely moronic asshole, his best friend, also a marine, starts to message her and basically threatening her.

Any normal, sane, and smart person would know that enough is clearly enough and that it's really not worth all this heartache. Apparently my friend isn't the brightest bulb when it comes to this stuff because she is still thinking that something positive is going to come from this. Honestly, this really worries me. I can't help but think that I'm going to wake up one morning and she's either killed herself or someone has taken her out because she really does believe that she has a fighting chance at this when up against some really pissed off marines. Not only that, but her world seems to be crumbling down around her and her own self with it.

But back to the matter at hand; stupid girls. Seriously, I have never been one of them when it comes to boys and relationships. I know when to cut my losses and I know when it's real. I really like to think of myself as a smart girl who has her moments. Sadly, the reality is that there are so many of these stupid girls out there. Why can then not see that defining yourself by who you're with is not healthy? In many ways, it would be like defining yourself by the sexually transmitted disease that you carry. Like, 'Ooh I have gonorrhea. That makes me better than you', or, 'Sorry, I can't go out to dinner with you guys tonight because my chlamydia says that I can't'. See how stupid that is?

I also am in charge, right now anyways, for my sorority's website. Something that I have done is make a members page where each girl in the sorority (almost) is listed by year and alphabetically with their name, program, and fin facts about themselves. One girl submitted a fun fact about the fact that her boyfriend was (at the time, he's since returned) in Afghanistan. Seriously? Her fun fact about HERSELF was about her BOYFRIEND. I just shook my head in disgust and used one of the other facts she listed for the website. What is happening to this world?

I seriously hope that, as we age, these sorts of ideals that people hold will crumble because they will realize how incredibly stupid they are being. If I could, I would personally go around and slap some sense into each and every person who needed it. I would even do it for free on the weekends or during my vacation time from work. I would only as that, since I would be doing a favor to the entire world, that I would have diplomatic immunity in every country. That way, when I travel I can still do something constructive.