Parenting Nightmares - You Ruin Society

So today at work we finished off our long weekend celebratory events with a Jam Fest (nightmare that it was) and a movie night. This is after an entire weekend full of a carnival, a Beach Boys tribute concert (holy shit hot keyboard player and guitarist!), tractor rides, kids movie night, super bingo (don't ask), and a duckie race (ditto). Honestly, I am so tired that I am so happy that my job is done for the summer after tomorrow.

Anyways, the nightmare of a Jam Fest that happened today is what spurred this query that I have. But first, a little background.

Basically what this was was a three hour time slot where we had some people come in and "host" a pseudo concert where seasonal resident (and those there for the weekend) could come up and sign-up for time slots to perform their musical talents. This first started out that they could play an instrument, sing, or dance as long as it had to do with music but that soon wasn't the case and there were tears shed when people were told that they needed and instrument with them if they wanted to sing. Anywho, there were also mix-ups and the people who were hired to "host" actually ended up playing most of the three hours because people suck and no one really signed up to perform.

This leads to this kid who recently cut his Justin Bieber-like hair and looks absolutely horrible.

See, this kid is good at karaoke where the words are right there in front of him and he's able to blindly follow along. Everyone (read: grandparents, their friends, and his little girlfriend) think that this kid is going to be the next Kalan Porter (don't know who that is, do you? HA! Thus is my point.) so they all wanted him to sing at this Jam Fest. Well, since he wasn't allowed to just sing, he went crying around with his grandmother in order to find some poor person to prey on to accompany him in singing songs from Glee. Lucky for him my friend who was there and is an amazing pianist and is also a pushover so it didn't take much to get her to agree to play a song cold. Meaning sheet music was printed off in my office and given to her right then and there.

So this then leads to this kid and his gay-faced** drama that then happened.

Apparently there were 50 (greatly exaggerated) people who showed up just to watch this kid perform (whatever) but since in the beginning he wasn't able to they all went their own ways and then had to be rounded up like cattle later on in order to hear him sing. While all this was happening, he was taking a diva moment to himself leaving my friend to just sit there and wait all while she's doing him the favor of even being there. Half an hour later, this kid is finally ready to go on and I had to practically push him up there to begin with.

Needless to say, this kid should stick to karaoke. He sucked. He was flat, not on cue, and did not know the song that he wanted to sing. WTF man, if you're going to go through all that trouble, make sure that you know the damn melody.

After he was done and there was a roar of applause for him, he sulked off and started to pout because he sucked. He honestly almost started to cry right then and there.

Sure I have had my moments where I think that I sucked at something, but it never has led me to burst into tears because I forced myself to endure self-humiliation.

Now back to the point at hand. While the entourage of this kid was leaving the Jam Fest, they all obviously saw the show that he was putting on and made sure to let him know that he was 'amazing' and 'wonderful'. I, of course, later had to diplomatically find a way to say that he didn't suck without lying... I ended up having to lie on that one...

So the point that I'm trying to get to through all my long-windedness is; What are people thinking when they give into the public displays of emotion that children put forth in order to seek attention and why do parents tell their children that they're good at something when they're not? I mean, do we live in a world where we must lie to people all the time in order to make sure that they're all happy all the time with things that they aren't even any good at? Must we as a society raise people up just to set them up for the Simon Cowell's of the world to tell them the harsh reality and bring them plundering down from their false highs?

Sure with kids there is a fine line that is there. When they're really little and learning how to do things - like colour, ride a bike, read - you encourage them by telling them how good they're doing all while subtly letting them know how they can improve - colouring inside the lines, letting them know that 'ph' sounds like an 'f'. But as a child grows up and becomes an older almost teenager and beyond (like this kid was; he's got to be at least 12 or 13) must they still be babied for fear of damaging their developing psyche? Or, by doing so, are we causing more harm than good because 20 years down the road that kid will probably still be trying to sing in front of people with only a piano as accompaniment and won't have gotten any better.

Hello William Hung.

Just Another Page in My So-Called Life

Seriously, my life is fucked up the arse and I can't see it getting better any time soon.

I think what I need is the opportunity to just wipe the slate clean and start all over somewhere where I don't know anyone and have no one to depend on. As it is, leaving here and going somewhere else would be almost financially the best idea since I could then get rid of my car insurance and put my loving Sherlock in storage until I get my shit together enough to free him onto the road again.

Yes, my car's name is Sherlock - as in 'No Shit, Sherlock' - but that's a different subject waiting to be written about my compulsion to name my inanimate objects.

So, before me lay two choices that I could take to better my life.

1. A friend of mine from high school (ok, our mothers worked together and are friends so by default we're friends as well, but she's a a good friend none-the-less) is right now in Banff working at a resort. So, through her I have an in for my resume which happens to sport a couple of years of resort work. By moving there I would know no one and would have to rely wholly on myself to make friends and have a real life.

2. Through a different family friend, I have an in to work possibly in Taiwan teaching people conversational English. Admittedly, this would be an amazing way for me to see the world, but to travel that far by myself is a scary idea. Plus, my dad really wants me to go but his constant pushing to go is pissing me off and making me really just not want to go at all. Also, it seems a little sketchy to me... but I don't have all the information yet so that remains to be seen.

This brings about another subject; my incessant need to procrastinate on everything.

Hey, it's the reason that I had to leave school (basically) and it's the reason why I have yet to really apply to any jobs around here. Granted, I don't know for sure whether or not the job I have now is going to be over come Labour Day like it was last year - the downfall of working at a seasonal resort - but that's what I'm planning for and nothing else has been said to the contrary.

Then there has been this last week that just adds to my ever falling apart life.

First, on Sunday, I shattered a glass window at work. It was an accident, don't get me wrong, and it happened while I was cleaning said window which is really more of a door to the novelty ice cream freezer. Seriously, it was broken to begin with and it was said broken bit that came off as I was putting it back on after cleaning it and caused a chain reaction where the rest fell. had it of happened to anyone else at any other time, it would have been a comical sight to see. Seriously, I can still picture the sheer fraction of a second where it all shattered into tiny pieces. It really was a sight to behold even though it invoked absolute terror after the fact.

Thankfully, that was rectified the next day with the old one acting as a replacement until new ones can be ordered.

But then comes the coup d'etat; my computer was the recipient of the BSOD and has died for good I fear. Right now I've commandeered my father's computer - a fact which has him acting like a toddler because he hates to share. He acted the same way when I tried to teach him how to use the GPS. 'Tried' being the operative word there. I do believe that that ended in a screaming match...

Anyways, the point of this is that my life is shit but at least I currently have a job. Speaking of which, I need to sleep since I work in the morning.

So true... SO true.

Is it sad that I know people who really do this and think that they're amazingly hot when really I know that they're truly, unfortunately ugly?

Friend or Foe?

I have always had the worst luck with friends. Sure, I can make them, but it’s keeping them that’s the problem. I mean, I put forth the effort to try and keep in touch when life pulls us in different directions, but at some point I just have to throw up my hands and say enough is enough!

Oh, and facebook friends TOTALLY do not count. Facebook is a stupid invention which, admittedly I use to keep in touch with people, but it’s making it so that NOTHING is private anymore…

Anyways, a case a point towards my friend problems.

Growing up I had a best friend, let’s call her C. I mean, we were friends from when we were potty training because we went to the same babysitter and everything. Granted, we hated each other at first (I suppose I was a bully… I don’t know, I don’t remember) but we became friends after C bit me on the nose. Keep in mind that we were two at this point and both only children so sharing and caring weren’t that high on our priority lists. So fast forward a few years, five give or take, and I’m forced to move across province by my parents. After that, I would visit her, she would sometimes visit me when her parents went on camping vacations in the area, and all was good. Until high school. After that I don’t know what happened. We would message on MSN or e-mail but eventually that happened less and less until it stopped. We met up once since university… no, wait, twice since I ran into her in Bulk Barn, but that’s it. I’ve also since messaged her to see if she wanted to grab coffee and catch up on all the lost years but I never get responses.

This isn’t the first time that this has happened. A lot of them have been because one of us moved on or away and naturally drifted apart – only to still be connected through the evil Facebook – but lately it’s been happening more and more. Honestly, it’s starting to drain me.

I think what really pisses me off is the fact that people can’t take two seconds to text a response. Or return a phone call. Or a, sadly, Facebook message. I mean, is it really that hard?

In those cases I know that I’m not the one to blame. I just wish that all friendships were as easy as mine is with my friend R. We can not talk for a month but we know that everything’s fine. Whereas with almost all my other friendships it makes me feel as though they’re mad at me or something.

I don’t know, maybe I’m being a big baby. But it still hurts. I guess I just want to know why no one seems to care anymore because I’m tired of being the only one who does.

A Horrible Person

I know that this sounds stupid, but I never want to marry/have kids with someone who is fat. That being said, I have absolutely nothing against people who tend to inch towards the pleasantly plump side of life, but since my family runs rampant with obesity (thankfully I'm not, though I wish I were a lot less weighty) I don't want my future non-existent kids to have to deal with it.

Honestly, to each his own, but I don't want my kid to be the fat one in the class who gets made fun of all the time because of it. The only positive thing that would come from it would be that they would develop some sort of personality; hopefully a nice one.

The entire thing that got me thinking about this was seeing pictures of one of my male (egotistical, unclassy, disgusting, racist, bottom-layer-of-hell) cousin and his equally disgusting girlfriend. Please note that said girlfriend used to be considered one of my best friends... but you all know how that ended. Anyways, seeing them together in sickening, and poorly composed, pictures got me thinking; what would their kids look like? Because, let's face it, neither of them are smart enough to avoid getting knocked up for much longer.

To cut out the middle-man, their kids are going to be ugly and SUPER, I mean morbidly, obese. They're not even going to be cute as kids because, honestly, neither of them are attractive either.

I know what you think; that I'm being jealous of something and taking it out this way. Honestly, I'm not. I wouldn't ever want a relationship like they have, nor would I want to date someone like that - familial relations aside. Sure, I wouldn't mind having an intellectual, respectful boyfriend but I'm not going to just throw myself out there at anything with a penis.

Anyways, their kids are going to be hideous. And fat. hence why I want to procreate with someone who has little body fat and a clean family bill of health.

I just wanted to get that off my chest.

And Then?

So. Life sucks and then you die. But lately, I have been pondering exactly what happens after you die anyways.

My cynical self is telling me that nothing happens; we simply rot in a coffin (or wherever you happen to be buried... not everyone is so lucky) or you're burned up and your ashes are shipped off to your closest living relative. That's it, there's nothing else to it.

But then I wonder; what about a person's soul? And what about reincarnation. Since so many religions believe in it, surely there is something backing that idea. I don't think that I would want to come back as a house fly or anything though...

Really, I wonder what happens. If a person does indeed have a soul, is it recycled into a new person, a new body? If you were good in life, does that make a difference?

You see even now that there are tv shows on the air all about ghosts haunting someone or some place until they have fulfilled their duty and can move on. There are even ones about reincarnated sould helping to solve mysteries... or something like that. I don't really know since I don't watch them, but they have to be popular enough to warrant even filming them.

Then there's the question of heaven or hell. While I'm skeptical as to either of them even exist, I'm pretty sure that I haven't been that good of a person to walk through those pearly gates. Besides, knowing me as I do, I like the underground better and it would be nice to never have to deal with snow ever again.

It's all such a mystery to me, and even though my curiosity wants to be fulfilled, I sure hope that it doesn't happen for a long while.

Then again, when it's your time, it's your time. I could be shot tomorrow by a cracked out whore who holds up the pharmacy... That would suck but it sure would make for a good story!

Tears Are For...

So, my grandmother died the other night. It was rather sudden - though I'm pretty sure that she's been wanting this for a while - but at the same time, I remain unaffected. It's like I am unable to cry. It's like I don't actually feel grief. I have only cried once when I found out that my uncle died 10 years ago. Since then, I have lost aunts, great-grandmothers and my grandfather and have yet to cry even once over them. This fact has made me known among my family as a cold-hearted bitch.

But here's the thing, I cry all the time over stupid things. A TV show or movie that is sad, I cry like a baby. I cry when I'm stressed and I cry when things get to be too much. But I can't cry when I'm sad or when I should cry.

Seriously. Even at my grandfather's funeral, when my own mother started to cry, I kept my tears to myself. Sure, I got teary-eyed but nothing escaped and I was able to make them go away shortly after.

This has gotten me to thinking about what exactly crying is supposed to mean. I know that it doesn't make you weak, and I know that it's a natural reaction that your body has when things are overwhelming. I know that fear, sadness, grief, anger, happiness, joy, and just about every other emotion can bring a person to tears and that they don't belong in any one category of emotional release. But does being unable to cry at certain emotions mean that you are not truly experiencing that emotion? Or does it mean that you're able to remove yourself entirely from the situation?

Then comes the question: Am I more engrossed in the lives that I read about and watch, the fictional lives that come from someone elses imagination? It seems as though there are more times that I have cried when reading a book or watching TV - "Skins" comes to mind, the episode of Chris' funeral and Jal does her own eulogy. I balled like a little girl while alone in my room watching it on-line.

Still, the act of crying is something that the reason behind it alludes me. I don't understand why we as people feel the need to expel salt water from our bodies. It seems a little weird if you really stop and think about it.

I guess what really gets to me is why death always seems to bring about the reastion of tears from people. My cousins are notorious for it and will break out in tears at the drop of a hat when anyone dies. She was a wreck at our grandfather's funeral, as was her mother. Both of them should have been given something so that they were a little more coherent during the wake and funeral. I think that it should be a little better this time, but the question is by how much. Anyways, death is a natural way of the world. All things are going to die, unless you're a 154 year old vampire as many people wish they were (thanks Twilight...), and death is the natural way of life. All carbon beings eventually fall at some point: Trees, pets, bugs, people, flowers, everything. So why do people die when they knew it was coming? Sure, sadness comes from it since it's the passing of someone or something from your life, but I wish that western civilization was more like those who celebrate death instead of mourning it. You have to wonder, generally when someone dies they are being released from whatever prison held them. Imagine if people didn't die. So many people would be trapped in their lives, unable to do anything. Car crash victims, cancer patients, old people, would all be living their life in the dungeon of their own bodies, unable to do what healthy, younger, whole people would be doing at the time.

Death is the outlet for life. It is the final ending, the last chapter, the epilogue.

I would like to think that people were re-born into a different life. It would be nice to think that someone who, in their previous life, was down-and-out, poor, malnourished, everything horrible that a person could possibly be, that when they were re-born that they were in a life that was better than the last. They would have a fresh start, a clean slate, and be able to make a difference in their new life free from the knowledge of the previous.

All the more reason that tears can be pointless.

Cha-Ching!

Riddle me this;

Why are there those people out in the world who are going to school, always whining about how they have no money to afford things but then they are able to go out and drop $100 a night several nights a week at a bar or they suddenly decide to get something pierced? I mean, really.

Granted, I can't really complein too much since I have bills that I should pay that my mother helps me with while I save money... or try to... but then again I've never really been one of those slutty girls who feels the need to go out every night of the week and drink until properly blacked-out drunk so that it leads to a phone, canera, wallet, and/or dignity being lost. Nor am I one to bask in the rush that one gets from being pierced or tattooed.

I have one tattoo on my back that I got one summer while in Montreal and it was something that I had thought about for years before I actually went and did it. And I' ve never been one who flourished in being pierced. I have two holes on each ear lobe. I do believe that is enough. Granted, there may come a time when I get another tattoo... but once again it will be years of deciding on the design and then psyching myself up to get it. Of course, the first one didn't hurt nor did I have a bad experience with it so the psyching part shouldn't take that long.

Still, I know when I have no money and I know when I have to save. I've cut down a lot on how much I spend on books and make-up and I've only just bought my first self-bought iTunes giftcard to get a few albums which were way too expensive in-store. I maybe spend too much money on food, but that's a necessity in my book so it's one thing that I can indulge in every once in a while. And I only ever go to the movies when it's cheap night and I never rent - I always stream. Bad me.

All in all, I could be worse.

It still gets to be though that there are the people out there that have the gall to complain about their money troubles and then brag about their spending.

I went to high school with one of those girls. I finally didn't have to listen to it anymore from her when we were on a trip in Italy - see what I mean, spending money on a European trip when she complained avery day about her money - anyways, in Italy when her spending was outrageous and I finally snapped. I gently said something along the lines that she might want to be careful about what she was buying (glass figurines on the airplane trip home generally break and are a waste of money) and then she bitched that it was her money and that I was not her mother. So I said that if that was how she was going to act than I didn't want to hear abything else from her about how she never has money for the rest of the school year. Let me also point out that this was her, and mine, second trip to Itlay, the same exact tour pretty much, and she had bought all the same crap the first time. Buying it a second time was really wasteful.

Then is this one girl who I am... friends? aquaintences? with at university when I'm actually there. She always is saying that she doesn't have money to go out with the girls but then will scuttle off with her best trailer-trash friend (I'm sorry but that's how she looks and dresses and generally acts, she doesn't live in a trailer and I have nothing against those who do) and the two of them whore it up at the bars and proceed to lose several phones, coats, cameras, wallets, and everything else inbetween while they drop hundreds of dollars.

I mean, if that's what you want to do then fine. Go for it. I am most definitely not your mother. But then I don't want to hear about it the next morning or week that this happened and how you have absolutely no money to even go to the dentist to get your several caveties filled in. And I feel for you really, if you then have to use the money that you save for the dentist on school books that you absolutely need - I certainly hope that you bought them used and made sure that there were no copies that friends might have had or that they weren't in the library - but then don't go on facebook the next week and state that you're getting a tattoo. Tattoo's generally start at $50 minimum. How much does a dentist appointment cost? A little more, I'm sure, but really? REALLY?

It seems to me that stupidity just runs rampant in this world with more stupid people than there ever should be. It almost warrants a course being made which would be mandatory for all stupid people to take that would, I don't know, teach them how to not be stupid? Where there would be a final exam that you had to ace in order to leave the course and you wouldn't be allowed to do anything else with your life until you passed this exam. Then every few years you would have to take a refresher course with a mini final. Then there would be a real-life trial where you would have to try and not be stupid for an entire year and if you didn't succeed then you would have to go into a Stupid-Institution until you were cured.

I supposed that would be my ideal world...

Understand?

Ok, so I am living with dial-up, something that I can deal with for now since I am able to scam Internet from the local coffee shop, but here's something that I really cannot comprehend.

Facebook is a network of people where you can find that person you hit with a dodge ball in kindergarten if you really want to. Ok, I get how that could be a good thing. But what I really don't understand is why people treat Facebook as though it's an extended portion of their own humanoid body. What I'm talking about is those stupid status updates. Sure, update once a day or every few days, go ahead, knock yourself out, but if you're going to be an ass and fill up my news feed with your stupid, inane, everyday, every minute updates, I really don't want to hear about it. I mean, come on people, that's what Twitter was created for. Go and make an account there, post the link in your Facebook status and leave it at that. If people really want to know what you're doing every second of the day they can go check with you there. Stop making me know that you're 'hoping for a win tonight' right after you tell me that 'omg I had to spend all my dentist money on a text book!'. Really, I don't care.

This has gotten so out of control, in fact, that I cannot stand Facebook anymore. I avoid it as much as possible and, being the nerd that I am, I only go on once a night in order to play Sorority Life... Yes, I know that that is quite sad, but whatever. It's not like it's FarmVille or anything. And it's only that one game. I honestly don't know why I even play it anymore other than it keeps me connected with my real sorority sisters... the ones that I want to be connected to anyways. Let's just say that if I never send you a gift - granted you probably never send me one either - but I just don't want anything to do with you and I'm only leaving you on my friends list in order to have the most people possible in my house. Yep, I am that shallow and petty when it comes to that.

Whatever.

But, really, what's the big deal with Facebook and Twitter anyways? Are they going to soon become the MySpace of a few years ago; completely obsolete and only young kids and losers are on there? Ok, bands are on there too in order to get their music heard, but even YouTube is taking over that.

On that note, I do love YouTube. There are so many amazing tutorials for make-up on there and the comedy blogs. I have my set list of people that I watch whenever I can - something that is not possible with dial-up so it's not happening as much as I would like it to. I even got my Halloween make-up from a tutorial done by Petrilude (his YouTube name) and I changed it around a bit to make it work for me. I'm by no means a professional like he is, but it turned out pretty damn good if I do say so myself. I even got compliments at the party that I went to that night. Plus, it was fun to do.

Basically, though, I hate Facebook. I use it meagerly and I don't care to use it any more than that. If you want to contact me, e-mail me or call. Use Facebook as a last resort.

Get Twitter and stop clogging up Facebook with things that no one cares about.

That is all.