As a child from divorced parents, I've heard it all. Every fight, every comment, everything. One would think, that as people who were together for around 3o years that my parents would be able to be more civil to each other at times when there isn't a family death involved.
Apparently I think wrong.
They always fight about the stupidest things, too. And it always seems to be my mother that starts things.
Boy, can she really make a person feel guilty for living. Most of the time, her 'oh woe is me' act is brought upon herself too. Really, it's a wonder that I even have a relationship with her anymore. I just really hope that I never become like she is to her mother - someone who she would rather ignore and sweep under the rug than anything else. Granted, being that way keeps her out of family drama, but still... I find myself not wanting to see my own grandmother because of how my mother feels about her.
Despite everything I still strive for my mother's approval. She makes my life a living hell at times and I fall ass over feet to please her. If she were a boyfriend I would have hired a hit out or something, at the very least I would have dumped his sorry ass, but since it's my mother there's not much I can do other than waiting for her to die. Although she's really too stubborn to die, I think. She will outlive us all.
But now she's all pissed off over income taxes and finances. She doesn't want my dad to claim my tuition... but at the same time she can't claim it and it doesn't do anything for me to claim it... or something. I have to admit that I don't know all the details about taxes, so I'm sort of walking in the dark, but I trust my accountant and what she has to say about it all.
Mostly, I just don't know what to do. 
If I allow my dad to claim it, my mother is going to stop paying my rent, paying my tuition, and bailing me out of random financial problems when I'm without a job. She would also make it so that I never have a moment of peace. All of which would end up with me either dropping out of school and becoming a stripper, or staying in school but still becoming a stripper so that I can pay my bills.
Of course, I could still just claim it all myself and hopefully that would pacify her, but I seriously doubt it. And even if it did, it would only be a matter of time before something else sets her off and she's hanging rent and tuition over my head and out of reach unless I comply. She's done it before and she will keep doing it until I'm out from under her thumb - which may never be ever for all I know.
I just really hate this. It makes me feel like I'm not in control of my life and if I wasn't such a fat-girl I would stop eating or something to make myself feel as though I were in control of something. Luckily, or unluckily (whatever), I like food way too much to give it up. If anything, this is going to make me eat more and gain weight that has no place to go. I swear to god that I may just shoot myself of I go up another clothing size. Last year was bad enough in that department.
It all boils down to the fact that I do not know what to do. If I don't claim it, I'm fucked. Plain and simple. If I go behind her back and let my dad claim it, and if she finds out, I'm still fucked. Possibly more than option one. I might even be written out of her will. But my accountant says that I should let my dad claim it, and I trust her judgement. She's not only mine, my dad's and my mother's accountant, but a personal friend of my mother so it's not like she would screw me over.
I don't know what the right thing to do is and there is so much else going on in my life that this piled on top of everything else is the worst thing in the world right now.
Seriously, sometimes I wish that I wasn't as strong a person as I am. And I know that's horrible to think, but at times like these I can't help it.
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